no empty promises from mom

alan cried so badly last night, and this morning, he told me it was because he was scared that i would leave him.

dear baby alan, i wanted so much to tell you that i would never leave you, but i couldn't.  i couldn't give you empty promises that i was unable to fulfil.

you will grow up and leave me to lead your own life, and mom will one day leave you in this world to pass to the one beyond.

but please always know this, my baby, that my love will always be with you.

beloved

i was holding alan in my arms and played the “pretend falling" game with him last night.  but i lost balance and did fall over.

i fell on my back.  my elbow was scratched and the back side of my head was hit, too.  but that was alright.  poor little alan's face hit the metal arm of a chair during the fall, and his face was bruised.

he did cry, but only for one or two minutes.

because he was in my arms!

i felt so loved.  here's the person who loves me, trusts me, believes in me the most in the whole world - my baby alan.

as long as i pick him up and hold him in my arms, alan would stop crying, no matter what caused him to be upset.